"“Accept everything about yourself — I mean everything. You are you and that is the beginning and the end — no apologies, no regrets.” –Clark Moustakas
I'm not quite sure where i'm going with this post yet, I had a thought this evening and I wanted to run with it so bear with me boys and girls. Everything i'm about to say is probably a contradiction of itself and almost certainly not to be taken as read.
To begin with this is being written by someone deeply cynical about whether or not romantic love actually exists. The kind of love that I'm talking about is reciprocated and unwavering. To be in love is to be loved, is it not? If you love and aren't loved in return, is it still love?
For someone as cynical as I, I'm about to say 'love' a whole heap of times, hold onto your knickers.
Still with me? Then I'll begin.
I was reading an article yesterday about humans quite obviously being creatures of habit and that we will follow the same patterns again and again, choosing and letting the 'wrong' people into our lives when we should really be choosing 'better' people, more suitable partners or friends, and all of a sudden I had a thought.
As long as the situations and relationships aren't harmful to you in a physical or mental abuse sense, should we really be fighting against them?
Aren't these people we are so drawn to, the people for us?
Let me elaborate..
If you choose to go for someone who is the opposite of everything you're so drawn to, you're surely setting yourself up for a fall, aren't you? And i'm not talking the stomach churning, I can't live without you love fall, I'm talking more permanent dissatisfaction, no matter how much better they might be for your heart rate and stress levels. I believe one can scrimp and save on everything else in life, but not love. Go all out. Feel everything and let it consume you.
If you are drawn to wonderful but destructive relationships that make you explode and implode at the same time, make your emotions overflow for better of worse, I say stay in them and feel everything intensely, let it overpower you momentarily, because in these cases of extreme end of the spectrum love, it is always the most for filling but almost impossible to keep afloat for too long because the initial all encompassing infatuation flame is bound to go out pretty quickly. If you are lucky enough to find someone who is utterly interconnected with you as much as you are with them for the love of god just revel in the madness and all consuming infatuation for as long as you can because these are the real moments in life.
Where you are blown wide open and the other person picks you up and places your pieces back together so delicately and in such a way that you are more whole than before.
Now don't get me wrong, this kind of love, the destructive, hand clasping, heart beating out of your chest kind of adoration is emotionally turbulent, soul destroying, uplifting, terrifying, sobbing on the kitchen floor at 4am begging something or someone out in the vast unknown for guidance, breathless, all consuming, can't bare to be apart for a moment, if you are you want to die love.
By going for someone who goes against everything you find attractive and endearing, someone who would be oh-so-much better for your mental stability and for your anxiety but oh so wrong for your, for want of a better word, 'soul'.
What I'm saying is you cannot fight your nature without feeling a little hard done by.
And ultimately by fighting ones nature you are going against yourself, I believe thats where people go so wrong and lose themselves.
I'm not condoning relationships that are physically or mentally destructive, I am not saying go for head fucks because I assure you, you will just not know where you stand, ever, however appealing the good bits are.
If someone physically or mentally hurts you on purpose, get the hell out now and don't look back.
On a side note, it seems like people always need a 'good enough' reason to leave, which I would say is down to loyalty. Wanting to leave someone is a perfectly good reason to leave. Just go.
I'm saying that if we simply accepted that we are a certain way and that our blue print is hardwired to think and feel in the way we do, we would be a lot better off not questioning it so much.
Wouldn't we?
Now I am not saying don't question all together or don't strive for better if thats what you want or feel you need, what I am saying is don't berate yourself for being the way you are, feeling the way you do.
Fighting against your nature and blocking emotions out is a hiding to nothing.
I promise you any suppressed emotions will bubble to the surface and come out as some sort of physical manifestation, be that anxiety, fear, paranoia, hell, unfelt emotions can even cause physical illnesses.
Simply put, divorcing ones health from ones emotions is an impossibility.
The classic definition of stress is “any real or imagined threat, and your body’s response to it.” Your body’s natural stress response can have a significant impact on your immune function, brain chemistry, blood sugar levels, hormonal balance, and oh so much more.
The end point of this is you have to go with your heart, don't fight against the tide. Embrace love and emotions that blindsides you out of nowhere, the unexpected oh-my-god-this-cant-be-real, is this real life love.
Be consumed and if you can learn to live along side it whilst diving into it headfirst, you're onto a winner.
No comments:
Post a Comment